Strawberry Milkshake

Deciding on Dr. Robert Anderson to do my surgery was a "no brainer", he is considered to be the Dr. James Andrews of foot and ankle, or at least that is how I like to describe him. But with any surgery there comes some type of uncertainty about complications and my ability to return to a level of play I have become accustomed to over the years. Will I have the same type of power, explosion, speed and strength??  Even though theses issues were a concern to my future, my immediate fear was my biggest problem, Death!

As an athlete I have fallen under that illusion that I am

Right before Surgery in Charlotte NC

invincible and have secretly thought certain things just do not apply to my life. And maybe that is why I have never second guessed blowing up a 700 pound wedge or laying big hits on Special Teams.  But the idea of dying is a sobering thought to my humanity and the limits of my body. Luckily, I have been blessed to have great ownership throughout my career in times of turbulence.  Mr. Bidwill and the Cardinals organization arranged for my wife to come out and support me leading up to the surgery and during that week of recovery. I am the type of guy to not ask for help so I am not a burden to anyone, even my wife, but I must admit it was nice to be served and supported by her.  Most of the time I take for granted what she able to for me, especially from a spiritual perspective and the calming effect she has on me to face things I am fearful of.

So we finally make it to Dr. Anderson's office for the consultation for the procedure.  Really cool guy and breaks the mold of your the stereotype doctor who talks at you and over your head.  Instead, he explained the process in a way my wife and I could understand which reassured and relaxed me. Finally, it was time to prep for surgery and receive the anesthetic.  Hands down this is the best part of whole ordeal; feeling so good and happy right before you fall asleep...LOL! After waking up from surgery it never fails that I am starving and always have a craving. Of course my wife had gotten the food we talked about earlier but I can never predict what I am going to want.

After surgery with Graham and my milkshake

Strawberry milkshake is the first thing I asked for but it was late and she did not have a car.  Fortunately, I had several friends who play for the Carolina Panthers. First person I called was my boy Graham Gano. I had played with Graham when we both were in Washington. I figured I made enough tackles inside the 20 yard line for him and he owed me one. Of course, he said yes but not because of the tackles. One thing I have come to appreciate in the NFL is the relationship I have built over the years with guys which extends past the locker room.  Men like Kedric Golston & Chris Wilson who my kids call uncle, and London Fletcher who has mentored me and become like an older brother.  Theses are just some of the relationships formed and have become my family and support where ever I am.  And I was glad Graham was one of those guys because that milkshake kicked off a week of comfort food!

Man Down!

It all happened so quickly. One second I'm defending Jimmy Graham and then the next thing I feel is an unusually strong cramping sensation in my right foot. At first I did not think too much of it but as began to hobble back to our sideline, struggling to put any significant body weight onto my foot, as the pain was almost unbearable, the Super Dome went silent and all I could see was Coach Mike Caldwell signaling me to get down.   At that point I surrendered to the painful circumstances, and as I collapsed to the ground a rush of team trainers and doctors made their way onto the field to determine the severity of my injury.

As they removed my shoe and sock to examine my foot they asked all the questions.  Where does it hurt? Does it hurt when I do this? Did you hear a pop? Can you put pressure on it? All I am thinking while answering their questions is that my season is over. Its weird how as an athlete how in-tune you are with your body. Obviously playing football for over 17 years including high school and college I have been hurt before but this time was different. Even though I made a conscious effort to remain hopeful,  I knew something was seriously wrong in my heart. "Do you see this gap here?", the doctor said as he pointed to x-ray comparison of my left and right foot.  I had torn my lisfranc ligament  ending my 2013 season.

 Once I heard the definitive news all types of thoughts flooded my mind ranging in various emotions.  This entire experience felt surreal and I could not grasp the idea of not being able to play ball. How could I allow my teammates to go out to battle without me? How could I let down the Cardinals organization who invested in me? But I quickly arrested these depressing and destructive thoughts and realized this was out of my control. Shifting to a more positive outlook I felt blessed to play football for so long and never suffered an injury that prevented me from competing for more than a week.

The goal now was to take advantage of this time off and spend it in the most productive way possible. Now I had the time and freedom to spend building my relationship with God, enjoy my wife and kids, rehab any lingering injuries and return to my 2012 season form, and work on post NFL career options. But first thing first, I needed to fly out to Charlotte, North Carolina to see Dr. Robert Anderson and have surgery.